


Five Times Arthur Didn't Catch Merlin Using His Magic and One Time He Did

by Drowned_in_Feels



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (it's arthur mourning uther just so we're clear), 5+1, 5+1 Things, Arguing, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, I Love You, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Magic, Merlin Has Magic (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Merthur - Freeform, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Arthur, POV Merlin (Merlin), Swordfighting, Uther Pendragon Dies (Merlin), more tags will follow as i add more chapters, tw: loss of loved one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22215007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drowned_in_Feels/pseuds/Drowned_in_Feels
Summary: Five chapters in which Merlin slowly realises that Arthur isn't the annoying prat he thought he was and that he actually likes him. A lot.One chapter in which it all comes crashing down.(5+1)
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 468





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything for this fandom in a while and I should technically be studying for exams right now but I felt inspired so here you go.
> 
> Small disclaimer: I don't really know a lot about swordfighting but feel free to call me out in the comments.
> 
> Enjoy!

Merlin didn't like being Arthur's manservant. Not one bit. Arthur was an arrogant, selfish prick who got enormous joy out of belittling those who were of a lower status than him, like Merlin for example.

He only got appointed as his manservant because he saved his life. Now, he didn't regret saving him but he would have been fine if that had been the last time he ever had to see him.

And then that dragon kept going on about fate and how Merlin and Arthur were destined to be together. Frankly, Merlin didn't see it. This buffoon was supposed to be the Greatest King this land had ever seen? Merlin was not so sure about that.

But apparently, now it had become his job to keep him safe. To protect him. Because, of course, he was too stupid to keep himself safe.

He should probably give him a chance, though. After all, it seemed like they would be stuck with each other for a while. But Arthur could make it so much easier for Merlin if he just stopped behaving like a goddamn prat all the time.

Like right now, for example. Arthur was at sword training with the other knights. Merlin was standing on the side, cleaning and sorting the swords and other weapons. At the moment, one of the knights was holding a wooden shield over his head and Arthur was hammering into it repeatedly with a mace. The poor guy was barely holding himself up, his legs sinking more and more into the ground with every stroke.

Finally, Arthur stepped back and allowed the other knight to get back up on his feet. Before he could get a word out, Arthur started yelling at him: “What are you doing?! I told you to hold that shield up so that I could practice my mace work and you can't even do that!”

“I'm sorry, sire, I couldn't –“

But Arthur cut him off: “I don't care! If I tell you to hold up a shield, you hold up the shield! It's as simple as that!”

Merlin shook his head. What an abusive twat. Arthur had no concept of how much strength he had. Nobody would be able to hold up a shield for that long if he kept going at it that hard.

Arthur called forward another knight, who had been sparring with somebody else up until that point, to hold up the shield instead. He snatched the shield from the knight he had been shouting at. “Now, you go. And you -” He pointed at the knight he had called forward and tossed him the shield. “You take his place.”

“Yes, sire.” The knight obliged and took his position.

“And you better keep holding it up properly”, Arthur threatened.

The knight nodded and raised the shield in front of his face. He seemed frightened.

Arthur just continued where he left off, hammering into the shield with full force. He was going at it from different angles. Merlin was surprised the shield managed to not splinter apart.

The knight beneath the shield was struggling. Merlin could see him sweating and his face turning red. How could Arthur just do this to his fellow knights? Did he not see how afraid they were of him? How he was hurting them? How we was being abusive towards them?

Merlin shook his head. He had to do something for this knight to get him out of this misery.

He watched Arthur closely, waiting for the perfect timing. And then, just as Arthur was taking a big swing with the mace and leaning into it with his full body, Merlin worked a little magic. His eyes lit up with a golden spark for a fraction of a second and Arthur's legs were pulled backwards. Merlin made it seem as if Arthur had simply slipped on the muddy ground. He fell face-first into the ground, covering his chest and parts of his face in mud. A few bits even made into his stupid perfect hair.

The knight who was holding the shield slowly stood up straight and lowered the shield. He looked at Arthur down on the ground. A subtle smile spread over his face.

Merlin smiled too. It had been worth it for that. The other knights who had been milling around with their swords had stopped what they were doing and were also staring at Arthur. Merlin could hear them chuckle.

As quickly as he had fallen to the ground, Arthur jumped back up to his feet. He whirled around and pointed his mace at the group of knights who tried to hide their obvious joy. “What are you laughing at?”, he yelled.

He looked around the training area and noticed everybody who was standing nearby staring at him with grins on their faces. He looked down and noticed the mud on his chest. He wiped his face and realised there was mud there, too.

Then he looked back up and addressed the people who were watching him. “Get back to what you were doing!”, he shouted.

Everybody got back to their jobs. The knights raised their swords and continued their practice. Arthur turned back around to face the knight who was still holding the shield pretty low. He gestured for him to raise it back up. “Go on.”

The knight raised the shield back in front of his face. Arthur started swinging his mace at it even harder than before. Merlin could see that the knight was hiding a massive grin behind the shield.

Merlin turned back to polishing some weapons. Maybe that could be a start of Arthur learning that he shouldn't be treating other people the way he did. Or maybe it wasn't. In that case, Merlin still had a lot of teaching to do.

After all, if it was truly his destiny to serve and protect Arthur, then he would at least try to make him a better person. Because, at the moment, the man who had just yelled at a group of people for looking at him after he fell over did not seem fit to become a great king.

At the moment, Arthur was just another arrogant twat with an ego larger than all of Camelot. But Merlin would do what he could to change that.


	2. two

They had been on just another hunt when they were ambushed by a group of rogue bandits. It was Merlin, Arthur and a small group of knights against a much larger group of bandits who must have been rather desperate to attack knights who were wearing official Camelot gear.

The bandits were easily outnumbering them. They were probably only after their possessions and didn't actually care about who the people were that they were trying to rob. However, the knights were, for one, better trained in combat than the bandits but they also had the better weapons.

The fight was in full effect. Merlin was standing off to the side, watching Arthur. He didn't have any weapons anyway. The fight was messy. People were screaming, toppling over each other. Sometimes there were multiple bandits attacking one knight at the same time. And somehow, the knight always came out on top.

Arthur was doing well, too. Merlin was watching him hit people left and right with his sword. Whirling around the battle area as quick as Merlin had ever seen him, defending his people, battling off the bandits. Merlin was keeping an eye on him but he barely had to lift a finger to protect him. Every now and then, he gave him a small advantage by making one of the bandits, who was charging him from behind, trip. Or maybe two bandits knocked each other out. He even looked out for the other knights, giving them a little help here and there as well.

This wasn't the first time that they had gotten into a situation like this. Anybody who had a problem with Uther's way of ruling a kingdom liked to take it out on his knights. They were a frequent target of angry civilians. Merlin thought that they could easily avoid these kinds of ambushes if Uther changed his ways. But after meeting Uther more often than he would have liked, Merlin knew that that was very unlikely to happen. So, he was placing his bets on Arthur to make right the things that his father wouldn't.

After all, that seemed to be his destiny. Staying with Arthur and looking out for him so that he can become the greatest king this land had ever seen. And so he accepted his job of standing at the sidelines of a forest fight against a group of bandits. It had become a bit of a routine by now, spotting different possibilities to give Arthur advantages without revealing that there was some kind of magic at work. He had gotten quite good at it.

Arthur was currently clashing swords with a bandit who was not giving up as easily as some of his friends. Two other bandits were running up to Arthur from behind. He didn't notice them. Merlin's eyes lit up and the two bandits tripped over a large branch that didn't seem like it had been there the whole time. Then they proceeded to stumble into each other and knock each other out. Merlin wondered if that might have been a little over the top.

Arthur hit his opponent in the chest with his sword in a way that made him drop to the forest floor before turning around to see two more bandits lying unconscious on the floor directly behind him. He furrowed his brows and scanned the area for his next opponent.

Arthur's eyes landed on Merlin. Merlin tilted his head to the side and smiled, as a way of saying “This fight is going great!”

But Arthur didn't return his smile. Instead, his face turned to an alarmed expression. “Behind you!”, he yelled out.

Merlin spun around and found himself face to face with a bandit who was pointing an old sword at his chest, ready to strike. Merlin stumbled backwards into the battle area, the bandit followed him.

Suddenly, Merlin was stuck in the middle of a battle with swords flying around him and people shouting. The bandit was still coming after him but Merlin kept losing track of him in the midst of the ongoing fight. Merlin didn't know what to do. He could use magic to defend himself but that would reveal his secret. But he didn't really have any other options. He had no weapons, and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to use them. Merlin had never been in a real physical fight like this before and he felt defenceless.

All of a sudden, Arthur was next to him, charging the bandit who had been trying to attack Merlin. Their swords clashed. The bandit was a good fighter but he was no match for Arthur. It wasn't long until the bandit was lying unconscious on the ground and Arthur was standing over him victoriously.

Merlin had been too perplexed to do anything, except just stand there and watch. Arthur turned around to face him. His face showed no emotion, except for his focus on the fight situation.

“You need to be more careful”, Arthur said while looking behind him, keeping an eye on their enemies, “You should stay on the side and make sure nobody is coming for you.”

Merlin nodded. Then, Arthur pushed him roughly towards the edge of the battle area before going back in to fight his next opponent. Merlin carefully shuffled back to his original position and thought about what had just happened while continuing to stealthily use his magic.

Arthur had been nice to him. Not only that, he had looked out for him and kind of saved his life. Of course, Merlin could have probably saved himself but then he would have had to reveal his powers. And Arthur didn't know that. To him, he had just saved the life of his helpless servant.

And then afterwards, he had told Merlin to be more careful. Did that mean that Arthur cared about him? He spent all day yelling at Merlin for every little thing that he did wrong, hitting him and constantly belittling him. And yet, he came to his rescue.

This all felt very strange but apparently, Arthur wasn't _just_ a jerk, he could also be kind if he wanted to. There was some good in him, buried deep underneath many layers of arrogance and over-confidence.

Merlin now had more hope for the dragon's prophecy. If Arthur showed this side of him more often, he could have the potential to one day make a good king.


	3. three

Many months had passed since Arthur had come to Merlin's rescue in the forest and Merlin had since seen Arthur's kinder side more often. Deep down, Arthur really wasn't such a bad guy. He just had to overcome his ego and he would be actually pleasant to be around. Merlin hated to admit that he had honestly started to kind of like him.

Merlin had now made the dragon's prophecy his full-time occupation but not because he had to, because he wanted to. He believed that Arthur could be a good king who would unite Albion and stop persecuting those who used magic. Merlin would protect him until that day and beyond.

At the moment though, Merlin was not getting a lot of appreciation for his work. Nobody except for Gaius knew his secret so nobody was aware of all the work he put in behind the scenes. Least of all, Arthur. Merlin was sure that he could one day tell Arthur about his magic but that day was still far away.

Today was a day like every other. Merlin was running errands for Gaius and Arthur while Arthur was busy with an important meeting in the throne room. Merlin had just sneakily entered through the back of the throne room (there was a shortcut to get from one end of the castle to the other but he had to pass through the throne room) when the door swung wide open.

Everybody who was sitting at the large table in the centre of the room turned to face who had just entered. It was a knight that Merlin did not recognise. He seemed out of breath.

“My Lord!”, he addressed Uther directly. “We were out on our regular patrol through the land when we stumbled upon a farmer who used magic to maintain his fields!”

Uther practically jumped to his feet. “Where is this sorcerer now?”

“We brought him in right away, sire.”

And as he said these word, two more knights appeared in the doorway, dragging a distraught-looking farmer between them. His hands were cuffed behind his back with iron shackles.

Uther left his position and walked to stand in front of the farmer. As he passed Arthur, Merlin could see his mouth move. Judging by his facial expression and his posture, Arthur was trying to hold back his father but Uther ignored him.

When he stopped in front of the farmer, the man started pleading to him immediately. “Please, my lord. I mean no harm to this kingdom. I have done nothing wrong. Please have mercy.”

“Silence”, Uther demanded. “What is your name?”

“Alexander, my lord.”

“Do you have magic, Alexander?”

The farmer looked up at Uther. Merlin had never seen such fear and terror in a man's face. “I do. But only a little bit. And I don't use it very often. You have to understand, sire, I live by myself on a big farm and I struggle to look after everything properly. My wife passed away last year and everything has been really hard for me. I only use magic to plough my fields and to keep my house clean. I wouldn't be able to survive otherwise. My magic is harmless. Please, my lord, have mercy on me.”

Merlin felt pity for this man. Alexander was only using his powers to make a living. He probably only knew a few basic spells. He couldn't even do any harm if he wanted to.

But Merlin knew Uther well. No matter how many good intentions a sorcerer had, Uther would show no mercy.

“There is no such thing as harmless magic. You shall be burned at the stake tomorrow morning for your crimes.” And with that, Uther turned around and marched back to his seat at the table. He sat down and waved to the knights who had brought Alexander in to take him back out. “Take him to the dungeons for tonight.”

The knights grabbed Alexander on either side, turned him around and proceeded to drag him back out through the doors. Alexander was crying. “Please, no, sire! I don't want to die! I swear I'll never use my magic again! Please have mercy!”

The scene was breaking Merlin's heart. Nobody else at the table was trying to stop what was happening. They all watched on in silence. Arthur's head was hung in shame.

Merlin decided that he couldn't let that poor man die just like that. His eyes lit up with the familiar golden spark and even though Merlin couldn't see it from the distance, he knew that Alexander's handcuffs had just been unlocked. He hoped that he would be able to use that advantage to make an escape.

The door was shut. On the other side, Alexander was still loudly begging for mercy but his cries slowly grew quieter as the knights dragged him out of earshot.

Arthur spun around in his seat to face his father. “That man has caused no harm with his magic. And you have wrongfully sentenced him to his death.”

Uther responded calmly: “He was a sorcerer, Arthur. They all cause harm in one way or another.”

“He was an innocent farmer!”

“He was a danger to our kingdom!” Uther slammed his fist on the table and stared Arthur down. Merlin thought he would give in but he didn't.

“You don't understand, father. What you just did had nothing to do with protecting Camelot. Or with justice. You were cold and heartless to an innocent man who only used his powers for his farm! This is not what I stand for!”

Uther rose from his seat and raised his voice. “I will not have you disrespect me like that!”

“Fine!”, Arthur yelled back. He pushed back his seat and stood up. “Just know that I will not support your stand on this matter any longer!”

And with that, Arthur stormed out of the throne room, his cape billowing behind him. The door slammed close behind him, leaving a stunned Uther standing at a table full of his advisors. He said back down and cleared his throat. “Let's continue.”

Just like that, the table conversation resumed where it left off when Alexander was first brought into the room. Everybody at the table seemed a little uncomfortable and kept glancing at Arthur's empty seat but Uther acted as if nothing had happened at all.

Merlin had to admit, he was quite impressed with Arthur's actions. He knew that he was a good man. But to stand up to his father like that was unexpected, to say the least. He really showed what he believed in and he wasn't afraid to argue with his father about it. There was a certain bravery about that.

Merlin didn't know that Arthur would stand up for what he believed to be morally right like that but it just made him like him more. The more time Merlin spent around Arthur, the more of his good qualities he discovered and the more he was in awe of him. Merlin had to admit that he had kind of started to admire Arthur for his sense of righteousness and dedication to doing what he believed to be the right thing. He wanted to spend even more time around him, not just because he admired him, also because he had started to genuinely enjoy being around him.

Merlin felt confident that Arthur would one day be a great king. He could bring peace to the land and people like Merlin wouldn't have to live in constant fear any longer. Merlin would be able to tell him about his powers. But not today. Arthur wasn't ready yet.


	4. four

Uther had just passed away. Arthur was now King of Camelot. And although Merlin deemed him worthy of ruling a kingdom, right now Arthur was in no position to rule anything.

He was mourning the loss of his father. And while he put on a brave face in front of the public, Merlin knew just how hard it had hit him. There were many instances when Merlin walked into his chambers to find him crying or just staring out the window with his face full of emptiness. As soon as Arthur would notice Merlin in the room, he would usually wipe his face and pretend that he was doing fine. But Merlin knew he wasn't.

Even though Merlin knew that it had been Morgana who had ultimately caused Uther's death, he couldn't help but blame himself. After all, he had been the one to disguise himself as an aged sorcerer and work some healing magic, not knowing that Morgana had planted an enchanted pendant that would reverse his spell and kill Uther. And now, Arthur blamed the sorcerer for his father's death. And he had ultimately decided that all magic was evil. Merlin had managed to bring about the exact opposite effects of what he had hoped for.

Not only that but he had also caused Arthur great grief. Seeing Arthur in pain was hurting Merlin more than he would admit.

Over the last couple of years, Arthur had become more than just the man he had been tasked to serve. He had become his friend. And Merlin cared about him, deeply. He would try everything that he could to ease his pain.

Today was one of those days that the public could bring their problems and quarrels to the king for him to act as a judge and find a solution to their situations. When Merlin had come to Arthur's chambers to collect him for his duties, he was still in the clothes that he had slept in. Merlin could tell that he would much rather stay in bed and grieve in peace than deal with the problems of his people.

Both Merlin and Arthur knew that that wasn't an option and that a king could not just take a day off when he felt like it. So Merlin got Arthur dressed in his armour and cape to have him look more presentable. While dressing him, Merlin tried to crack a few jokes in order to cheer Arthur up, but to no avail. Arthur neither smiled nor responded. He seemed so empty.

Luckily, there were only very few people waiting to be seen in the throne room. Arthur handled their disputes quickly but gracefully. He listened to their complaints or quarrels with each other and then suggested viable solutions to their problems. They all left thanking him profusely.

Merlin was standing behind the throne with a group of other servants, knights and advisors. After a couple who had been arguing over the correct position of a fence had left the throne room, Arthur turned to one of his advisors. “How many more left?”

Merlin noticed a slight quiver in his voice. Anybody who didn't know him as well as Merlin did would not have noticed it. But Merlin had spent too many hours listening to Arthur talk about everything that the small faltering of his voice did not go unnoticed. Arthur clearly wanted to retrieve back to his chambers. His brave face was slowly crumbling but he was doing his best to keep it together.

“Just one more, sire”, replied his advisor.

Arthur nodded and turned back around. “Send them in.”

The couple that came in were a man and a woman, both dressed in rugged clothing. They had their arms crossed and their faces were angry.

Arthur asked them what their issue was and they immediately started yelling. According to the woman, the man, who had been her neighbour for many years, had stolen a golden ring from her that had been in her family for generations and that was her most valuable possession. The man yelled even louder, defending himself and claiming that he did no such thing.

Merlin saw Arthur inhale deeply. He could tell that he was getting fed up and would do anything to get out of there.

Arthur addressed the woman. “Do you have any proof that he was the one who stole your ring?”

She threw her hands in the air. “There is nobody else who could have done it!”

She went into great detail about their difficult neighbour relationship and how he had always tried to take her things. She also gave a great description of the ring: a simple gold band with her family name inscribed on the inside.

Every time Arthur tried to propose a compromise, the woman interrupted him and demanded that he should send some of his knights to search the man's house. Merlin could see Arthur struggling to hold himself together.

Suddenly, Merlin had an idea. His eyes lit up with the golden spark. He cleared his throat. “Excuse me.”

The woman fell silent and Arthur, as well as his knights and advisors, turned to look at Merlin. Arthur raised his eyebrows at him. Servants were not expected to speak up during these sessions. Merlin stood up straight and raised his voice so that everybody could hear him clearly. He spoke directly to the woman who had lost her ring. “You claim that your neighbour has stolen your ring. But if that is the case, then what is it that I can see sparkling on your hand?”

The woman seemed perplexed. She looked down at her hand and indeed found a ring on her finger that perfectly matched the description she had just given. Her face was full of surprise. “Oh”, was all she said.

“Ma'am”, Arthur said to her, “I think you owe your neighbour an apology.”

The woman turned to the man and apologised profusely for her accusations. The man accepted her apology. Then they both kindly thanked Arthur for his help and bowed to him before quickly hurrying outside. The woman seemed to be very embarrassed.

As soon as the door had shut behind them, Arthur let out a sigh of relief. He got out of his throne immediately and announced that he was going to his chambers and wished that he should not be disturbed. Merlin followed him.

On their way to Arthur's chambers, Arthur did once again not speak a word. Merlin had hoped that he might have managed to cheer him up at least a little but Arthur seemed to be just as sad as before. Seeing him like this and not being able to do anything about it was crushing Merlin's heart.

He helped Arthur out of his armour and put it away. “Is there anything else I can help you with, sire?”, he asked.

Arthur flopped down on his bed. “No, Merlin, you can go. And tell everyone to leave me alone for the rest of the day.”

He turned around so that his face was pressed into his pillows. Merlin took that as his queue to leave. He walked out and quietly shut the door behind him.

Seeing his friend like this put Merlin in great distress. There had to be something he could do. But he felt like it would be best for him to just leave Arthur alone for the moment. He never thought that we would care this much about him. He remembered what a prat he was when they met. But now, Merlin had gotten to know his softer, kinder side. He had learned that Arthur wasn't a prat at all. He was the greatest man Merlin had ever known. And he would do anything to protect him. Not just because a dragon had told him to or because it was his destiny. But because he genuinely liked him and wanted the best for him. Maybe he even felt more for him than just friendship.


	5. five

Arthur had been king of Camelot for a while now and he had proven himself to be a just and kind ruler. He had yet to undo his father's ban on magic but he hadn't senselessly executed any sorcerers either.

On a personal level, Merlin and Arthur had grown even closer. There were times when Arthur trusted Merlin more than his oldest advisors.

Merlin never left Arthur's side unless he had to. Now as a king, Arthur found himself in peril far more often than before and Merlin could not risk him getting hurt. He had grown immensely fond of Arthur. He was just so used to spending all day with him that he started missing him when he went to bed in his room next to Gaius's chambers at night.

Yes, Merlin had a lot of feelings for Arthur. He admired his courage and his righteousness. He was in awe of his skills both as a fighter and as a ruler. He was enamoured by his kindness and his gentleness. In short, Merlin liked him. A lot.

There was a part of Merlin that wanted to be more than just his servant or even just his friend. He dreaded that moment in the evening when he had to leave Arthur's side and retire to his own room. He would like to just stay there, with Arthur. Watching him finish up some of his paperwork in the evening, and then falling asleep next to him. Waking up to the sight of his sunshine hair and his ocean eyes first thing in the morning.

Merlin shouldn't let his thoughts wander like this. He was afraid to put a name on the feelings that he had for Arthur. And he didn't see himself confessing any time soon. After all, Arthur probably only saw him as his idiot servant anyway.

Arthur had actually complained to Merlin a number of times about how his advisors were pressuring him to get married. They wanted him to find a princess in a neighbouring kingdom and to marry her solely for diplomatic purposes.

Arthur was strongly against this suggestion. He only wanted to marry out of love, so he told Merlin. If that meant that he would have to pass on some useful diplomatic advantages, then so be it.

Merlin had, of course, supported him in his opinion while his mind had been yelling at him to tell Arthur to marry him instead. But Merlin had been able to suppress that voice in his head.

Right now, Merlin was in Arthur's chambers organising his wardrobe. He had just brought up a basket of freshly washed and dried laundry and wanted to just put the clothes into the wardrobe as usual. But the wardrobe was in the state of such a chaos (which was probably Merlin's own fault) that he ended up re-organising it completely. It was also already dark outside and Merlin knew that this was most likely his last task for today and he didn't want to leave Arthur just yet.

While Merlin was busy with his wardrobe, Arthur was sitting at his desk by the window with a quill in his hand, staring off into nothing. Merlin would be concerned about that but he had seen Arthur zone out like this quite often recently so he didn't worry.

“Is everything alright?”, Merlin asked anyway.

Arthur snapped out of his daze and looked at Merlin as if he had forgotten that he was in the room. “Yes, everything is alright.” Arthur cleared his throat. “It's just -” He gestured. “They've told me again today that I should just find someone to get married to and it's getting a bit annoying.”

“Well, why don't you try and go out there and maybe you'll run into somebody you would want to get married to?” Saying these words out loud was hurting Merlin but he tried not to let Arthur see. He faced the wardrobe and placed another shirt in the correct compartment.

“It's not that easy”, Arthur said, “especially not when -” His voice trailed off.

“When what?”

There was silence. Merlin didn't press any further and continued putting Arthur's clothes away. When he had finished he walked over to the door with his empty basket. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

This was usually the point of the day when Arthur would dismiss him and Merlin would painstakingly make his way to his room. But tonight, Arthur didn't say anything. He just stared at him with a pensive look on his face. “Merlin, come here for a second.”

Merlin put down the basket and walked over to Arthur's desk. He stood next to him and quickly glanced out the window. The moon was shining bright tonight but there were no stars in the sky.

“There's something I need to get off my chest. It's been sitting on my mind for a while now and it's distracting me from my work so I just want to get it out, okay?” Arthur looked at Merlin for his agreement. Arthur's eyes looked beautiful in the dim candlelight.

“Okay.” Merlin nodded.

“And – and you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. It's just so that I can stop thinking about this. Okay?”

Merlin nodded again. Where was this going?

“The truth is -” Arthur scratched the back of his neck. He seemed insecure, which was rare for Arthur. He looked up at Merlin. “The truth is: I like having you around, Merlin. A lot. And I think I have fallen in love with you.”

In that moment, Merlin felt his heart fall out of his chest and down through the floor all the way to the kitchen. His body was paralysed while his brain tried to process the words that had just come out of Arthur's mouth.

Arthur looked down. “And I know, I know, you probably don't feel the same way. So we can just ignore what I just said and pretend it never happened. We'll just move on and everything will be -”

Merlin cut him off. “Shut up.” And he kissed him.

Merlin had simply closed his eyes, leaned in and pressed his lips to Arthur's. But Arthur seemed frozen. Merlin pulled back and looked at him. Arthur's eyes were wide with shock. Oh no, maybe Merlin had done something wrong and this wasn't what Arthur had wanted him to do.

Arthur's voice only came out as a whisper. “Does this mean that -?”

“I love you too, you dollophead.”

“Oh, good.” Arthur reached up to put his hands behind Merlin's neck and pulled him down onto his lap. He closed his eyes and gently touched his lips to Merlin's.

Merlin placed his hands on Arthur's waist and deepened the kiss. Arthur's lips felt softer and so much better than Merlin had imagined. Being this close to Arthur, his scent was everywhere. And Arthur smelled good. Incredible in fact, if you take into account that he spent his entire day in a sweaty suit of armour. Merlin loved his scent. He could drown in it.

He pushed his body closer to Arthur's, forcing him to lean back and to tip his neck backwards. This was better than anything that Merlin had dreamed of. He had been so surprised when Arthur had confessed but now it seemed like the most natural thing to be kissing him.

Arthur's hands were wandering up from Merlin's neck to his hair, gently running through his dark locks.

Merlin loved the feeling of Arthur's hands in his hair. He wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist in an attempt to pull him even close. Their bodies were now tightly pressed together. The fabrics of their shirts were rubbing against each other. They could feel each other's body heat on their skin. They were breathing the same air.

Merlin opened his eyes just a tiny bit. The room could be a bit more romantic, he thought. He made sure that Arthur's eyes were still closed and let his own eyes light up. A few more stars appeared in the night sky and the candlelight was slightly dimmed.

Then he closed his eyes again and got back to enjoying the situation he was in. Arthur's hands on his body. His lips on his own. Every dream he had ever had come true.

Of course, Merlin knew that he would have to tell Arthur about his magic eventually. But not right now. He didn't want to ruin this perfect moment.


	6. plus one

Merlin was lying on Arthur's bed and reading a book. Or, well, he was lying on their shared bed and reading a book. They had now been together for a couple of weeks but they hadn't publicly announced it yet. Although people had already noticed that Merlin didn't leave Arthur's chambers in the evening anymore.

Arthur was currently at sword training and Merlin was meant to tidy up and clean this room. He had worked a little magic and now the floor was mopping itself while Merlin was enjoying his book.

He was contemplating what the best way was for him to tell Arthur that he had magic. Not only that, but that he was a very powerful sorcerer. Arthur probably wouldn't even believe him.

On the one hand, Merlin knew that Arthur didn't share his father's closed-mindedness when it came to magic. But on the other hand, magic was still outlawed and Merlin felt that Arthur still didn't fully trust anybody who possessed magic powers. This posed a big problem for their relationship and Merlin just kept putting off dealing with it. When the moment was right, then he would tell Arthur.

Merlin returned his focus to the book in his hands while the mop continued cleaning the floor. His reading was interrupted by an all too familiar voice coming from the door. “Care to explain?”

Merlin dropped his book. It was Arthur, standing in the door in his still sweaty armour. His arms were crossed. His face was showing every emotion at the same time.

“Arthur!”, Merlin exclaimed. The mop dropped to the floor and stopped moving. “I thought you were at sword training.”

“I was”, Arthur said coldly. “We finished early.”

Merlin scrambled off the bed and approached Arthur. “Listen, I can explain -”

But Arthur cut him off. “Are you a sorcerer, Merlin?”

Merlin stopped dead in his tracks. Better now than never. “Yes. But listen -”

“You lied to me.” His voice was full of betrayal, full of anger. “All these years you lied to me. And we're _together_!”

Arthur said that last word with such disgust, ramming a spear straight into Merlin's heart would have probably hurt less. He tried to come closer. “Arthur, please, I can explain.”

“I want you out of here. Now.” Arthur's face was stone cold, his manner was calm, but Merlin heard a slight quiver in his voice. He knew he was breaking his heart. And with Arthur's heart breaking, Merlin's was shattering as well.

“Please, just listen to me.”

“I said I want you to get out!”, Arthur shouted.

Merlin knew there was no arguing with him right now so he did as he was told and left the room. He quietly closed the door behind him and sank to the floor. A single tear started rolling down his cheek. He had just majorly messed up the one relationship that he cared more about than any other in his life and he didn't know if he could ever fix it.

He returned to Arthur's chambers later that day. He wanted to try to talk to him. He wasn't sure if Arthur would let him but he wanted to at least try. The issue had been on Merlin's mind all day and it was slowly eating him up from the inside.

The sun had already set and to Merlin's surprise, there was a guard standing in front of Arthur's door. Merlin walked up anyway and went to knock on the door when the guard blocked his hand with his lance.

Merlin looked up at him quizzically. The guard said: “I am sorry but the king has specifically requested not to let you into his chambers.”

“That's ridiculous. Come on, you know me. I'm his manservant.” He went to knock on the door again but he was blocked by the guard once more.

“I am sorry but I cannot disobey direct orders from the king.” He seemed uneasy.

Merlin stepped back. He didn't want to force this guy into disobeying orders and potentially losing his position. Instead, Merlin raised his voice and called out: “Arthur! It's me, Merlin. I want to talk to you! Please, open the door!”

The guard shuffled uncomfortably but there was no response from inside the room. Merlin called out again: “Come on, Arthur. Please, just talk to me!”

Again, no response. Merlin continued calling out different variations of his plea, hoping that he could annoy Arthur into talking to him. The walls were thin enough so Merlin knew that Arthur could hear him.

Finally, the door swung wide open. Arthur was standing in the doorway. His face was red but Merlin couldn't tell if it was from anger of if he had been crying. “I don't want to see you”, he barked.

Merlin stepped closer to the door. “Please, Arthur, let's just talk about this.”

Arthur turned to the guard. “Leave!”, he yelled and the guard hurried away.

Then, he turned to Merlin. “You're talking about this as if it can just be explained away. You've lied to me. Since the day you set foot in Camelot, you have been deceiving me, betraying me. And I'm supposed to listen to you talk it off as if it's not a big deal?”

Every single word out of Arthur's mouth was like a dagger straight into Merlin's heart. He could feel tears swelling up in his eyes but he blinked them away. “No, I just want to say that -” His voice was breaking.

“Say what? Huh, Merlin? That you have not been deceiving me? That you're not actually a sorcerer?” Arthur's voice was full of hurt and knowing that he caused it made Merlin almost break down onto the floor. “Tell me this, Merlin: How do I know that anything between us has ever been real? How do I know that you didn't just put a stupid love spell on me to make me fall in love with you? How do I know that you haven't been manipulating me ever since you became my servant? I can't know that anything that ever happened between us was real.”

“Come on, Arthur, you know me”, Merlin was pleading, “you know I wouldn't -”

“That's the problem, Merlin. I don't know you. Not anymore.”

Merlin had nothing to reply. His mind was full of pain and unable to form a sentence.

Arthur looked down. “Don't come here again.” And with that he slammed the door in Merlin's face.

Weeks passed without contact from Arthur. Merlin didn't give up though. Arthur had told him not to come to his chambers again. That didn't mean he couldn't contact him otherwise. Merlin wrote countless messages to him. He found numerous ways to get them to him. He gave them to other servants to pass under his door, he handed them to his knights to give to him, he even sent a few to his window with a carrier pigeon.

His messages ranged from short notes of him begging for Arthur's forgiveness to full blown-out letters detailing how sorry he was and how much he meant to him. Sometimes, all they said was “I love you.” Merlin even wrote one letter that listed every single instance Merlin had ever used magic while he had been in Arthur's service. From small things like heating up his bath water to the right temperature, over instances where he had used his powers to diffuse a conflict up to all the times Merlin had saved Arthur's life. The letter was multiple pages long and Merlin had stayed up all night to write it. He hoped Arthur would believe what he said.

Merlin's heart was aching without Arthur by his side. He would have never believed how much this idiot could mean to him but now he was all Merlin could think about. He couldn't afford to lose him. What would he do without Arthur? Where would he go? Arthur had been his life for the last couple of years, not just because of some stupid destiny but because he loved him. And he had no more life without him. He needed to get him back, no matter what it would cost him.

Gaius was hoping for them to get back together as well. He said that he couldn't stand to see Merlin in so much pain. He told Merlin that he had tried to talk to Arthur about the matter but Arthur had shut him down. He had felt betrayed that Gaius had kept this secret from him as well.

Merlin was sitting on his bed, silently crying. He didn't want Gaius to hear and to worry. He hadn't slept during the night, he had been thinking about Arthur. Whenever he heard his name, it was like he was getting punched in the gut. Without him, there was a whole in his heart that he had cut out himself. The whole was longing to see Arthur's face, to hear him laugh and to kiss his lips. Merlin didn't know how much longer he could go on without him.

There was a knock on his door. Gaius poked his head into the room. There was a brief silence in which Merlin wiped his face and Gaius pretended he didn't see.

”Somebody is here to see you.”, he said and pushed the door open wider. Standing on the other side was Arthur. He was wearing the red shirt that Merlin liked so much. He seemed nervous. His hands were fidgeting.

“Arthur!” Merlin jumped up from the bed. He hadn't seen him in so long. But he was just as beautiful as ever. Merlin wanted to run into his arms, hug him and kiss him, but he stopped himself.

“I'll leave you two to yourselves.” Gaius excused himself and left the room.

Arthur stepped into Merlin's room. His eyes were fixed on him. Merlin wanted to break the silence but his mouth didn't know what to say.

“I got your messages”, Arthur said, “and I have a question.”

Merlin nodded. His eyes maintained eye contact with Arthur's. There was so much tension in the air, every second that passed felt like an hour.

“Was it true?”, Arthur asked.

“Was what true?”

“Everything you said. About how you used your magic for good and how you saved my life with it.”

Merlin stepped closer to Arthur. “Yes. All of it. Every single word of it.”

“Promise me.” Arthur's voice was quiet.

“What?”

“I want you to promise me, Merlin, right here, right now, that you have not lied to me in your letters and that you will never lie to me about your magic again.” His voice sounded so meagre. Arthur was close to tears.

Merlin took Arthur's hands into his own and deeply looked into his eyes. “Arthur Pendragon, I promise you that I have not lied to you in my letters and that I will never lie to you again. I will never do anything that could possibly hurt you ever again. I love you with all my heart, Arthur, and I can't stand to see you suffer.” His voice and his hands were trembling. This was the moment that everything depended on. Whether Arthur would forgive him or not. Whether his life would have meaning again.

Arthur gently squeezed Merlin's hands. He smiled. “I love you too, you idiot.”

And with that he leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to Merlin's lips. Merlin couldn't hold back. Tears of relief were streaming down his face as he passionately kissed him back.

Arthur pulled back and cupped Merlin's face with his hands. “I've missed you.”

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's body and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in his shoulder as he sobbed a thousand I-love-yous into the fabric of his shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Please leave some feedback :)
> 
> If you want, you can read two other Merthur fics that I wrote four years ago: [The Best Is Yet To Come](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5662723) and [Cinnamon Americano](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6239101).


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